INFP, suicidal thoughts and suicide

October 18, 2011 at 1:03 pm (INFP, Stress)

One of the interesting things about wordpress is that it shows me what ‘search words’ people use to get to my blog. Off course, those words need to be on the blog in the first place. Quite often I get people who searched: ‘INFP suicide’.

I hope that in the future those people will end on this page and read it.

I want so say that even if I have never tried to commit suicide and never actually thought about it in the real way, there were many times in my past when I wished that I didn’t exist anymore. Now I don’t think about suicide anymore, but there are still days when I would be happy if the world wound’t exist, when I wished there was a button that I could push to shut down the planet like I shut down my computer.

I have been very depressed at times and felt like I don’t have the energy to get myself up. I didn’t like the situation that I was in and I didn’t consider that I have enough energy to get out of it.

Probably for most INFPs suicidal thoughts have something to do with other people’s expectations, with lack of money, with the feeling of being out of place in this world, with the lack of energy for a job.

I just want to give two pieces of advice to these people.

First piece of advice: There is sunshine after the rain. As many many happy people can tell you: they had (very) bad times in the past. The only certain fact about luck is that it will change. Hang in there and it will happen.

Second piece of advice: You have nothing to lose anymore. You can only go upwards. Let’s say you dream of being an actor. If someone came to me and told me he/she wants to be an actor I would consider what that someone has to lose. If that someone is an accomplished lawyer, I might tell him that it is good for him to do what he wants with his life, but I will not insist that he quits his job to become an actor. But to you, someone who is thinking about committing suicide, I can tell the truth: The best thing about life is that you get to choose your own goals. You only live once. But as someone said: once can be enough. You can make what you want out of your life.

Consider that life is a trip. The joy is the trip itself, not only reaching the destination. If you love the mountain, you will love to climb it, even if you might never get to the top. Same advice to you: chose a ‘destination’ for your life and try to reach it. Even if you don’t, it still feels good to know that you have lived it your way.

Last thought: try some self help literature. Dale Carnagie or Napoleon Hill. Or try Ralph Waldo Emerson – Self reliance. Or Carl Rogers – On becoming a person! I guarantee that you won’t consider suicide anymore.



  1. Jenny said,


    So sad to hear about the search words… I too am an INFP and when I was younger suicide was definitely something I thought a lot about. I suffered from depression throughout my teens but managed to break loose after meeting my husband in my early twenties. He helped me a lot and got me help even though I really struggled with him when he did it.

    I thought that was how life was supposed to be – painful! Well, I have learned that it is not, and I love your post as I am sure it will help others.

    Also, I would recommend getting help. I did not like the idea of medicating so I had cognitive behavioural therapy which really worked for me.

    Life is not supposed to be painful, dreaming is a fantastic talent that we INFPs have – try to use it to lift you up instead of dragging you down.

    Another INFP blog:

  2. Dimitri said,

    hey, i don’t know if you’re still around or not 🙂 i just recently found out about my infp profile, so i found your blog —

    i appreciate the fact that you’ve studied psychology too, i read much of it myself (although i went to university for other things) — it’s because i relate to a lot of what you write –obviously– that i’d like to ask if you have any profile on social websites or skype etc., in case i needed to ask a question or share a thought; but if this blog is the only way, that’s fine too —

    for example, if you read this, i’d like to ask your opinion on the borderline E/I type (xNFP, in this case), and also, whether you’ve examined at all the relationship between mbti information and the astrological theory (i’m talking about the serious tradition of course, and not the media nonsense…)

    anyway, keep it up, and greetings from a suffering Greece.


  3. DDM30 said,

    hi, i’m trying to leave a comment, perhaps something goes wrong, i don’t know… —i appreciate the fact that you write about us infp’s, also from a Psy perspective, and i’m just asking if there is another way, via social networks perhaps, to post a question or share a thought about this; but if not, it’s OK —

    i’d like to ask, for example, if you can distinguish the differences for those who are borderline E/I (NFP) and what it would mean for their everyday life;

    and, whether you’ve had a chance to read on the traditional astrological knowledge (astro-psychological actually, cuz i am referring to the serious stuff, and not the media nonsense) and how it relates to the MBTI types…

    anyway, i hope you get this message, and keep up the interesting work.


  4. Dim said,

    hey! are you still around? 🙂 can someone still get in touch and exchange an idea? infp greetings.

  5. Thomas said,

    Some of my biggest changes happend after i started reading some self help literature. I realised that i was looking at life to much trough my own glasses. To begin, dale carnegie- how to influence people will be a wonderfull start. Also consider reading books on highly sensitive people.

  6. enyqus said,

    INFP with lots of money like you just need to make many babies. If bored, you can always have an affair. See how many you can score, play drama with others’ husbands/ wives (INFP’s forte is psychology right?). I want to be born as a rich INFP in my next life ^^.

  7. becca said,

    thanks for saying that. im an INFP and have felt suicidal at times. im better now. i channel that into the humanities. i want to help people who are worse off than me. i dont think i have depression. it just comes in waves or gets triggered in my subconscious from my past. but im happier now. its just really hard being the only p in my family and them not understanding my abstract thoughts. they just dont realize trying to make me a cookie cutter of what they want isnt beneficial to my emotional health. just cant wait till im out of the house and can follow my heart. 😀 2 more years!

    • emilie2332 said,

      Wow. This is exactly what I’ve been going through, too.

  8. Steven said,

    That happens to be exactly how I found this page.

  9. listermin said,

    Yes the main point of stress comes from having to earn a living. If money wasn’t an object most INFPs would be doing fine, working on the artistic projects they want.

  10. Grayson said,

    That’s exactly what I searched.. It makes me feel a little better to know I’m not the only one. But at the same time it sucks that so many people out there are unhappy :/

  11. emilie2332 said,

    Reblogged this on Not So Typical and commented:
    Again, this person writes exactly what I want to say. 🙂 Great post and really relevant for me.

  12. brian said,

    You are all beautiful and I love and appreciate every one of you 🙂 Go out in the world and shine just the way you are! Best regards an INFP

  13. Frédéric Cerfvol said,

    Because nothing is worth it. It’s not just thinking you’re out of place or about the little depressions following some hard times. It’s knowing that all you do and all you are serves no purpose at all. No one will remember you in a 100 years, let alone 10k, 100k years. We’re just anomalies waiting to go back to oblivion in the absence of a greater scheme and feeling scared and depressed about it.

  14. 10 Surprising Truths About INFPs - Psychology Junkie said,

    […] insights in a world that is chiefly composed of sensing types who can distrust Ne-possibilities. The INFP Idealist blogger states, “Probably for most INFPs, suicidal thoughts have something to do with other […]

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