one of those days

February 11, 2009 at 8:58 am (INFP) ()

Something inside of me cannot deal with schedules.

Let me put it this way: for me a miserable life is one in which you cannot decide on the go what to do, one in which you have to do things by the schedule. Basically a life in which you have very little freedom over your choices.

A great life for me would be one in which you do as you wish. You wake up when you feel like it, you go out when you feel like it, you work when you feel like it.

How the hell can I live a normal life??? I always end up in the same situation. I cannot keep a steady job.

In psychiatry they consider that a problem needs treatment if it interferes with one’s ability to live a normal life. But I don’t feel crazy, not at all. I have asked myself if there is something wrong with me and if maybe I need treatment, but that thought is doing me only harm.

I keep on trying to find a way to integrate myself in this world. Being productive while being “as I am” is the most difficult part. If I will manage to do this, there will be no problems.

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12 Comments

  1. yeshim said,

    Come on, at least you have job experiences i even don’t have any πŸ™‚

  2. yeshim said,

    One more thing about the enneagram : For type 9 it is to be self – aware, for type 4 it is to understand the self, so what is the difference ?

  3. yeshim said,

    ok one web page that i have come across defines type 4s as identity seekers, and type 9 peace seekers hehe. what we are trying to do all the time is to seek our identity so we are type 4s… but just a little bit peace won’t bother right πŸ˜›

  4. yeshim said,

    OMG I think you must watch these out :

    The nine with eight-wing.

    Core of sub-type: nine with eight-wing; INFJ
    Auxiliary/wing: eight with seven-wing; ESTP
    Subsidiary wing: seven with eight-wing; ENTJ
    Subsidiary wing: two with three-wing; ISFJ
    Point of stress/disintegration: six with seven-wing; ISFP
    Point of Integration/Neurosis: three with four-wing; ISTP

    The nine with one-wing.

    Core of sub-type: nine with one-wing; INFP
    Auxiliary/wing: one with two-wing; ESTJ
    Subsidiary wing: two with one-wing; ENFJ
    Subsidiary wing: seven with six-wing; ESFP
    Point of stress/disintegration: six with five-wing; INTJ
    Point of Integration/Neurosis: three with two-wing; ISTJ

    The four with three wing.

    Core of sub-type: four with three-wing; ENFP
    Auxiliary/wing: three with two-wing; ISTJ
    Point of stress/disintegration: two with three-wing; ISFJ
    Point of Integration/Neurosis: one with two-wing; ESTJ

    The four with five wing.

    Core of sub-type: four with five wing; ENTP
    Auxiliary/wing: five with six wing; INxP (Ambidextrous T and F)
    Point of stress/disintegration: two with one-wing; ENFJ
    Point of Integration/Neurosis: one with nine-wing; ExTJ (Ambidextrous S and N)

    The link is here :

    http://www.socionics.com/articles/ctc.html

    I cannot even figure out what the f**k enneagram is now hehe

    ok i will stop writing ab this i’m sorry if i’m bothering here all the time with the same subjet but you know I have noone who cares about personality types around here πŸ™‚

  5. infpidealist said,

    πŸ™‚

    just watch out: socionics is not the same as MBTI from what I know. Stupidly enough they use the same letters, but I have read that the meaning is not exactly the same (life for example an INFP in MBTI might not be INFP in socionics). I am not exactly sure about this…maybe you’ll check it out.

  6. yeshim said,

    Uups thank you πŸ™‚ so anyway just let’s say we are INFPs right hehe .i’ll try to forget ab the enneagram i mean I hope so πŸ˜› but I might be type 9w1 ok i’ll shut up πŸ˜›

  7. INFP I AM said,

    Hi I am an INFP too. As I have a hard time keeping a schedule too. It’s like I want to swallow the world, not the other way around. As you describe, I want to be free.

    What I have found out is, I has to try to communicate better with others. I have been stuck too much, doing the same things too often…so what you could do is, try to find more variables in your life around people.

    But the moral of the story is that I will not, as my morality and ethical codes, tells me it’s not possible. For me variance has been synonymious with being of none structure.

    I believe a lot of INFP’s could possible be stuck, living on other peoples terms, and ethical codes. I have been raised by a dominant mother and passive father.

    So for me it is easily stressful, as I feel I struggle between other peoples wishes(moms(, wanting to statify her, and my own core desires.

    Now I have communicated with my mother that I want to get more space in between visitings, as she has a past of controlling things in my life, without communication with openess, as “Do you want to hear my advice?”” Or do you like to visit us tommorow and have dinner”. It’s more likely that I hear, Can you help me on Sunday?

    And If I say no, then she tells me, What about monday?

    This, is from my own experience. But you could look over peoples communications skills with others close to you, are you putting them above yourself and your life & dreams, desires, or do they give you the space that you most likely need, and variance in doing and planning.

    Just some helpfull advice(or so I hope). As I have been struggling like you descrive it, in your post, I did for too many years!!

    There’s Nothing wrong with going and doing “it” your own ways. As the most valueable lives are our own lives.

    I guess the helping others, contradicts with your helping yourself, and doing what’s best for you??.

    Johan

  8. S butterfly said,

    I wouldn’t want you any other way…

  9. Kazza said,

    “In psychiatry they consider that a problem needs treatment if it interferes with one’s ability to live a normal life.”

    Nine to five is not a normal life. Neither is living in a city with no trees, and not growing your own food. Don’t let anyone tell you you aren’t normal. We are the normal ones, dude.

  10. Thomas said,

    maybe u look at life to much from your view/feelings? maybe other people dont have as high ideals/principles as u do. My partner is a entj and im becomming more and more connected to the daily life of other people(also mainting a steady job now) because she shows me how. Im becomming a more rich person because i can see where they are coming from. I still know that i am different but i can fit in for a while, and then recharge in my own world and then go back out again.

  11. MRF said,

    We are the poet/philosophers. It’s nice to not feel alone in this!

  12. Iaminfp said,

    Exact sentiments πŸ˜‰

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