INFP writing

December 15, 2008 at 3:02 pm (INFP, writing) (, )

I finally decided to try and write something, no matter what, no matter how imperfect.

Here it is, just a minimal text trying to describe an INFP:

The young man was standing alone in the parking lot.

He had just quit his job. It was the third time in his life that he was quitting his job.

He has had such a promising future. He is still young and can still have a great future, but still something felt wrong.

His problem was that he just couldn’t see himself paying the asked price for a successful life.

In fact he could not see any kind of meaningful life ahead of him:
he was smart, he could become a successful executive if he would dedicate his time and work hard. But somehow that did not really attract him. He did not know of any executive that he envied, that he wanted to be like.

He taught: “Oh God, I don’t know anyone who’s life I would like to have. I do not know any life that I would love to live. People don’t have meaningful relationships. Where is the love? All people seem unhappy. At most they are…not unhappy, but that’s it. Or maybe they are happy, who knows? However I cannot see how come they can be happy”.

Then his mind started spinning: “Am I depressed? What should I do? Maybe there is no happy life and I should accept this.”

But he knew he was happy when he was a child. And he knew he will be happy when he will retire: an old man with nothing left to do except enjoy his time on earth.

And he remembered how good it felt when he last fell in love… but is it possible for grown-up responsible people to fall in love? “I feel I am still such a kid in so many ways. When do we grow up? When will I feel I am a man and not a boy? What should I do? Is there anything that I can do?”

He loved soccer, both playing and watching. He loved movies and books, and searching the internet for whatever happened that he was curious about.

He loved talking about his life. He loved getting drunk with friends. He loved listening to music.

But then again he needed to make a living. He had worked hard to get his previous jobs only to be disappointed after it.

There were so many questions that he did not have an answer for. So many questions that kept him standing there in the parking lot. Asking himself these questions felt good, but never finding an answer felt horrible.

“A parking lot? A building? Cars? Better clothing… is life better today than it was 1000 years ago? Or are we all blindly investing our efforts in the wrong direction? He could not move.”

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4 Comments

  1. waleed said,

    it seems like someone has stolen my thoughts and put hem here.. very well explained. thanks!

  2. Christine said,

    Thanks for sharing your feelings and honestly trying to get to the bottom of them. As a fellow INFP, I can relate so well to the frustration, to similar doubts and thoughts about the meaning of life, and to feeling so different from “average” people who seem content to live what seems to me like a meaningless life and never asking any hard questions about the point of it all! Without intending to give a simplistic and pat answer, I can say truly that I found my answer in Jesus Christ. I have found His life and teaching to make sound sense of all the nonsense in this world.

  3. emilie2332 said,

    Wow. This describes my internal struggles in the past few weeks exactly. My parents want me to be a Journalism major, but I want to help people. (I would major in Psychology but I’m thinking of not going to college anymore and getting a volunteer job. I’m becoming too depressed and anxious, and I don’t think I could handle the pressure.) But I agree! Wanting to be happy, I’ve finally made the choice to move in with my girlfriend (against my parents’ wishes) and live with her while I get a volunteering job or a people-oriented job. Really, all I want to do is write short stories and poems and volunteer around the world while we travel- because she might enlist in the Air Force in a bit.

    Thank you again for writing this- it makes me realize that what I am feeling is not crazy! 🙂

  4. emilie2332 said,

    Reblogged this on Not So Typical and commented:
    This describes my internal struggles in the past few weeks to a T.

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