INFP – underachiever?

December 12, 2008 at 12:12 pm (INFP) (, , )

Five years ago I was a student at a top University in my country with a job in a small but successful software Company.

I was pretty good at my job too. And ahead of me was lying a good career as a software programmer.

But I was feeling miserable.

I felt like I was wasting my life working only for money. I had a need of “doing something useful” with my life. A need of “making a change in this world”, of “having a purpose”.

(It was about then that I found out I was an INFP.)

I quit my job. I even quit my technical university and enrolled as a psychology student.

Looking back, five years later, I know I could have achieved more by outside standards if I would have continued with my job and my technical university.

Would I have been happier? No. I know that I would have been dreaming of being in the situation that I am now. Having studied psychology and with better chances of “doing what I want”.

Am I happy now? Sometimes. When I feel useful. When I feel alive. Most of the times I feel unhappy. I feel that I don’t belong to this world.

Will I be happy in the future? I don’t know. But I know it will not be because I am an underachiever by outside standards. I was once an achiever and it did not make me happy at all.

What could be the key? Maybe meaningful relationships. I am the one that needs to have a great relationship with his boss in order to be a good worker.

Who knows?


1 Comment

  1. nikiwonoto said,

    thank you for writing and sharing this,
    I can totally relate with what you feel, because I’m an INFP too 🙂
    it scares me sometimes, the part that you said “most of the times I feel I don’t belong to this world”..
    I mean I have quit a what society would deem as ‘lucrative’ job only to pursue my music dreams, and recently only to find how ‘dirty’ the music ‘business’/scene could be, and it actually kinda put me down a bit..
    Perhaps what you said is right: Meaning and Purpose is the goal for us INFPs, not much about fame and rich.
    Still working on finding where I belong..

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